the greatest confession you will never ever know

ok

i know that you won't be able to read this and nobody's reading this blog anyway - good

i ran out of pages in my "manual" journal, I really am depressed and i need to let this out

ok, so maybe i made a wrong decision - maybe i should have not let you go

but then again, its over and done

my friend told me that i should stop feeding it - ill just be misserable -well, i am now

im missing you so bad...i knew this was gonna happen...that i'm gonna realize how much you mean to me only when youre gone

i really don't have the courage and won't have the courage to let you know all these...my pride won't let me...

maybe you've grown tired..who wouldn't be? i was such a pain...

blame it on the foundation...6 freakin years..darn it!

i remember, when we were still ok..we were texting every day until 3 in the morning...we were talking about nonsense things but it was never boring...and then you asked me how much i miss you, i told you that i super miss you i wanted to eat a chocolate cake! haha! i bet your heart melted...haha!

i thought work will take my mind off you...no luck...its making things worst...

i thought the company of new guys, new crushes will take my mind off you...no luck

ok, i once told you that there's something i wanted you to know...and then you asked what, and i said i forgot - the truth was, i can't tell you

now you are with someone - seeing your happy pictures makes me crave for a chocolate cake

now i am eating chocolate cake - i hate you

i always tell you that....i hate you...but i never did, not a single time

i have always cared...its just that i can never let you know...i was scared that i'll get so attached

well, apparently, i am now

darn

i lost your poems..or maybe they're just here somewhere but i don't want to look for them...trying not to nourish the annoying feeling

i wonder if i'll ever have a chance to let you know...maybe my chance was over...

you found someone, your pictures say you're happy and you tell me you're not...

things would have been different if you're here...

i am tyring to reach out but i can only do so much...

i need you to tell me that's its over so that i can move on...it can't be my decision alone...as long as you're holding on i will never move on...tell me you've moved on...

ok, you might be reading this now....laughing your head off...

i don't care...now you know...

now give me that long overdue hug...