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originally posted July 06, 2006ok, so i love that song...it's a classic but i never dreamed of it happening literally! meaning, someone's looking at you from a far, for 9 freaking years! aka, stalker...or not really. then after 9 years, this person would txt you and tell you that he's always thinking about you, praying for you (which is by the way, a good thing...hehe...) and that he's hoping that someday, the two of you can actually have a normal conversation.if you are in that position, would you be happy? flattered? or freaked out?i always have a problem when it comes to "giving" reactions. most of the time i react based on impulse and later on contemplate if i "gave" the right/proper reaction.for one, i am a little "reserved" and interact only once in a while. i have to be in a rowdy group to be able to talk. or i can be in a group intimidated by my persence to be able to talk. or i can just be with myself and talk, hehe...now that's creepy...so, plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....talk to me! i won't talk to you if you won't initiate! and never ever tell me that you can't approach me now because, because, because....arrrggggghhhh!
nyahaha! i just love blogging!
People say na wag na daw mag new year's resolution kse hindi rin naman mangyayari or hindi rin naman masusunod. I never had a formal new year's resolution, so i really can't tell. For some reason, i want to have concrete resolutions for this year..hehe..
so, here:
1. find more reasons to smile
2. manage stress better
3. more time for family, friends and me
4. try not to be a workaholic
5. no to alcohol
6. save, save, save
7. be more health conscious
8. love more, enough with holding back -> be a risk taker at this field..nyahaha!
9. deal with life one day at a time
10. be happy
there...sana magawa ko lahat yan..haha!
how many times did i say that i will be leaving M in 2007? 2006? 2005? 2004? nyahaha! But i think 2007 is the year - yes, it was difficult to finally come up with this decision, but there's no other way - someone has to do it, and im doing it.
ok, so what happened? December 28, 2007? Bwahaha! cherry on top of an amazing year!
we were supposed to meet at lunch time - he said was supposed to treat me - anyhoo, both of us didnt make it. i had some errands that i need to do - last minute - nanay ko kse and he also accompanied his sister to the hospital - we met up at around 2 in the afternoon. I was at toy kingdom when he texted that he was already there and he asked me where do i want us to meet. it was a bomb exploding right in front of me - he was there...finally. it took me 15 minutes to finally reply and then i said, let's meet up in front of national bookstore. normally, it would take around 2 minutes to walk from toy kingdom to national bookstore - i took the "long cut" anad it took me around 5 minutes. while walking, i decided to call Mabz...i needed moral support - i was really chickening out! so there, i was talking to Mabel, telling her that i am so nervous, i could die. when i got to national bookstore, he wasn't there yet. so i just keep on talking with Mabz, then we talked about the Maroon 5 concert...i was just walking back and forth, with matching ikot and then boom! he was there! standing right in front of me - it was surreal - i dropped the call without saying goodbye. i was just so nervous, i didn't know what i was doing. so there, we started walking, tapos he said, let's look for a place where we can sit - i laughed.hehe..
the first coffee shop that we saw was full, so we walked some more and then we found a spot at Vienna Koffihouse (bwahaha! this blog is so out there!!!) - and then we ordered, he asked me, what do you want? i'll have Mocca and he said he he will have that too. ok, first awkward moment, i opened my bag and took out my wallet and then he said "let me pay for it, it has been 6 years". i laughed. and then he said "i was supposed to treat you out to lunch" and then i said, its fine.
so we sat down and we started talking. so i asked how he was, what he has been up to. talk talk talk, then our coffee came - yahoo! something to break the cricket moments.
cricket moments - silent moments, tapos parang you'll hear crickets..haha!
so there, more kwento and more cricket moments. then he said, he was just waiting for his sister which means that we have a time limit - and it was totally fine with me. then i realized, we don't have enough time to talk about what we needed to talk about. anyhoo, make the best out of the time we have. he said that they will be having a christmas party the following day - for their employees. he said he was gonna invite me but i have a family reunion..sayang...
talk talk talk - then he said he regularly goes to Manila and he asked for my address, na hanggang ngayon d ko pa rin nabibigay..hehe..it was more of reminiscing hyskul stuffs but we really didn't talk about us - maybe no one had the courage to talk about it. and it has been six years, tapos ngayon lang ulit kme nagkita i don't think we can really talk about it ng ganun na lang.
so there, then 4 pm came, he was leaving. we said goodbye a couple of times - it was an awkward goodbye kse we were already standing up pero he was still asking questions like where are you going, what will you be doing....stuffs like that. i said i'll just wait for my friends and then he went down.
yun lang, after that meeting, no follow up. its already wednesday, didn't recieve a single text message from him. i was supposed to text him and thank him for last friday, pero d ko pa rin ginagawa, should i do that?
pero at least i can say that i did something - so, whatever happens, may ginagawa na ako...
it was difficult kse hindi ako ganun, i'm more of a wait and see person, ngayon lang na i really did something about it.
lagi na lang cia yung first.
he was my first dance (highschool)
he was the first guy to formally ask me if he could court me
he was the first guy to walk me to the dorm and carried my books
he was the first guy to make his intentions public
he was the first guy to write me a letter
he was the first guy to write me poems
he was the first guy i had coffee with - was it a date? if it was, the he was the first guy i went out on a date with
will he also be the first ?
nyahaha! annoying crap...
okies, more pa...
why did i suddenly blog here? because i had a nightmare. i dreamt of J - yes! ano ber
anyhoo, the dream was like this, there's this road - parang never ending or masyado lang ciang mahaba - basta hindi nakikita yung dulo..tapos i was walking alone..walk walk walk...then suddenly, he was there beside me - panalo! he looked like a rockstar - yung plain white t-shirt tapos jeans - wala lang, for me that's the ultimate rockstar get up...haha! anyhoo, so yun, lakad lang cia..tapos naglabas cia ng yosi, tapos before pa niya ma light i took it and "tear" (for lack of a better term) it, tapos i threw it away...tapos he looked at me lang...walang nagsasalita...then he suddenly held my hand...tapos parang it was very casual...tapos yun, lakad lang together..we were both smiling...tapos nung titingnan ko na cia, he wasn't there anymore...as in naglalakad na ulit ako mag-isa..tapos i wanted to wake up, but i can't..gising na yung utak ko, but i can't move my body...sobrang hirap ako...cguro mga 20 seconds na ganun..then i woke up...ang bilis ng heartbeat ko..it was scary...so yun, akala ko happy dream - happy na, tapos biglang ganun..weirdness
anyhoo, 2008 na! and it's so positive! yung pasok ng taon, sobrang positive! kahit something happened nung january 1, ok lang, in a way parang ok den yung nangyari...it made me realize things...things na dapat matagal ko na na realize...bwahahha!
anyhoo, im super looking forward to this year! sobra! parang madaming mangyayari this year and im super excited! excited to meet new people, new experiences...2008 is my year! it's a decision!!! game! game! game!
