She said: this will probably be the longest text message ill ever send you. i want you to know about a couple of things because you deserve to know. ok, the reason why i asked for the frog back is because i dont want to see mine and be reminded of you. the reason why i stopped using my smart phone is because i only use that for you. i removed you from my friendster because i dnt want to see your pictures. when you failed to greet me at exactly 12 midnight during my birthday, i used that as a reason to be mad at you.y? because i though being mad at you would make things easier for me. hating you will make me not think of you. especially when you told me that your wish is for me to find someone. having said that, i want you to know that i am hurting and i dont know when i can finally get rid of you. it was difficult to see you last week. it was difficult to ask for the frog back. i wanted to talk to you but i was afraid that i might break down. i dont want to break down, not in front of you. so there, i need your help, i need you to tell me that its over. i know it is, but i want to get it directly from you. stop giving me wrong signals and make me believe that there is still something. and i don't want us to be friends. at least until i have finally moved on. i don't care what will happen after this, but i hope its for the better. for me at least, i know you're doing great. and let's not communicate anymore, i am ok until i get a text from you and i'd get totally emotional and distracted. so there, whew! i never thought i'd be able to tell you these..especially admit that i'm hurting. don't say sorry, this is all my fault. its ok if you won't reply, you usually don't anyway. i guess i will be better now. thanks for reading.
he said: i'm just waiting for you to say this...If this is really what you want, then i gues this is it. i also want you to be happy. whatever reasons i have for holding on to you for such a long time will just be mine. i hope we can still be friends someday. im sorry, but you'll still be special...you'll be ok..trust me, you will be..its ok to hate me, just don't forget me..that somehow i've been part of you...sory for hurting you that bad...for being selfish..for making you hope for something from me...i know you'll move on...thanks for everything.
silence...
he said: halong pirme..bye! :(
silence....
he said: i hope you'll be brave enough to risk if you find someone for you someday...i apologize for causing you much pain. for hurting you over and over again...im still here if you need somebody to talk to...you can't just throw me away...find a good man...ang indi palahubog ha? kag please reply, bisan hambalon mo lang i hate you...thanks for saying what you really feel for the first time..at least i know what was going on with you. God has His own reasons for this...i know...good night...im gonna flood my pillow again...
she said: i dnt hate you...budlay lang gid ya...
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Edell... you'll get there. You'll be ok. I promise. It can get worse but it will get better. I know u understand.... You know i'm here. always.
"Closing Cycles"
-Paolo Coelho
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end.
If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.
Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end?
Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad?
Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened.
You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.
But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us.
What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however painful it may be) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go.
Release them.
Detach yourself from them.
Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.
Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.
Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the "ideal moment."
Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.
Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles.
Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.
Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.
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