You don't...

You just want him to be there..there was never love

when you wish upon a...fish

Really?

So, why do i keep on doing that to myself? I spent my weekend watching cheezy koreanobelas. Allowing myself to be submerged into the glory of - love and all its cheesiness. I mean, love is good and strange (Thanks Che for that really interesting pin you gave me - i think it's going to be one of my favorites). The pin says: Love is so strange. I intended to take a picture of it and include it in today's post, but I'm just to lazy to upload.

Love. love. love - overrated.

People want to talk about it - I used to want to talk about it - like all the time. But for some reason, that want faded away. It's not like I don't want to talk about it anymore - but whenever it is mentioned, I find myself rolling my eyeballs or just giving a heavy heavy sigh. I'm not really sure where all of this came from.

I want to start something - something to revive my faith in love - whatever that means. I don't want to be a skeptic - I want to believe in it again, or just think that it is possible. I'm not sure if I have really experienced it. I can't tell really. Anway, going back to that thing I wanna start - I wanna start a journal about waiting. I'm gonna blog everyday about waiting, about getting excited that maybe tomorrow I'll find you or you'll find me. Something that will document my anticipation for your...yeah...arrival.

According to The Secret, you have to want something for you to have it and the want should be consistent. Maybe if I put that want into writing it will become more consistent and the universe will finally do something about it? But then again, according to the book, the want should be specific. And I specifically don't know what I want. I'm not sure if I want something serious or something for experience purposes. So, I'm not sure if blogging everyday about it will actually lead into a miracle. But I'm still gonna try - who knows, in the process, I might just figure out what I really want.

Is it pathetic?I just thought that this is something - cute? By the time he comes, he'll read it and get really touched and won't think of ever leaving me [another rolling of eyeballs].

This might just be a koreanobela hangover and i'll get over it tomorrow - when I get myself submerged in work. As for now, I'll just keep on wishing on fishes (stars didn't work for me).

will always be 12...

so, i've been feeling demotivated for the past couple of days - weeks. I mean I still go throgh work as normal as possible, but the enthusiasm is just blah - if there was any

so, I tried to look for motivation today - and I found it im my ROOM! I decided to re-arrange my room (not really, cause the only addition is my desk which used to be outside). Now my room looks like that of a 12 year old - or a highschool studentim planning to add more pink - i really wish i'll find that pink flying pig soon!

quick runthrough of what's in my room now:Perfect Princess pillow - thanks Katt! i remember how we are perfect and how we have the perfect everything! perfect pimple, perfect headache..perfect everything!

Heart Card - PACMAN's bday present to me :) I posted it near my desk to "motivate me". It has nothing but positive and funny messages from the team - so, perfect motivator

Aromatherapy candle - it has always been there but I stopped using it. I placed it on my desk, so I'll see it more often and use it more often

My Frogs - moolah
Snowglobes - gives me hope, that someday I'll experience actual snow - loser - i know..hahaha!

hay, i love my room...

24

I just turned 24 -58 minutes ago, HP time :P

I feel old..hahahaha! Old but not sad old, happy old. Aside from the fact that I was blessed with another year to live, I was blessed with another year to live.

I feel like this is when I should be living the dream. I am given lots of opportunities this year. I am exposed to areas wherein I will learn lots of things. I really think that by the end of this year, I will be a better me (corporate-ly speaking :P ).

It is exciting! I've never been excited about growing old. This 24 thing is really different.

I'm going to HK, I get to manage people now, I am involved in a "heavy" initiative, I'm leading stuffs. This is what I've always wanted to do. I just need to feel it and appreciate it and be thankful that I am given these.

I have a loving and supportive family, I have awesome friends, I found a new housemate which totally saved another year of moving out and settling in.


This is just awesome!

Conspiracy theory

My day started pretty well - thanks to Lee Min Ho's awesome acting skills - and abs.

As the day progresses, the good mood slowly evaporates...they are testing my patience.

I have to admit that I have temper issues but I try to calm down first before I say anything. When I am all out freakin mad, I cry. And because I don't want to speed up the aging process, I learned to calm down before I say anything. (*when it's taking forever for me to reply, I am still summoning the Dalai Lama)

So today was a day to test that new skill. The world conspired to prove that I am still hot tempered. Good thing everything happened "cyberly" so I had more time to summon the gods to calm me down. I think I dealt with them pretty well.

So there...please please please..never ever mess with me.

The Nile

again, is not just a river in Egypt.

after gazillions of years, here I am..blogging.

ok - i hate it when I am reminded of the pain. I wasn't expecting it..hahahaha! too bad, it was very very very close to it!

anyhoo, in 2 hours I'm going back to "I am ok, it's been too long, I'm moving on" state

thank you delete function :)

2009 is ME Year

This year's new year - or last year's new year's eve - basta parang ganun - was nothing special. Unlike the year before. Last year, I welcomed the new year with a huge smile on my face. The first drop of rain sort of told me that 2008 was going to be my year. There was something about that new year. Oh well, it was dramatic and all - so i wasn't really sure. This year, it was just Ok. There still was drama, but very minimal compared to last year. And it was raining - so lots of drops-droplets.

Anyhoo, to summaarize 2008:
First quarter: Getting things done because i want to get out of this crap
First quarter was about finishing what I had to finish - both on my personal crap and career. I was able to speak my mind and expressed what i really wanted - so there! tralala! yahoo! was able to get them. I thought, things are going my way, this is awesome!

Second Quarter: Let's go to the beach and Edward Cullen
It was my first "regional trip" with my friends. Daene, Ali, Katt and I went to Iloilo, Guimaras and Bora. It was fun fun fun even if it was storming and all. It was also my 2nd time to get really wasted - bwahahaha! During our team offsite, my teammates had to carry me back to my room. As expected, I wasn't, still can't remember anything! And of course, the Twilight bug - 'nuff said.

Third Quarter: Frank the drunk and making ends meet and SFC
It was during this quarter when typhoon Frank hit the Philippines and caused great, ginormous damage to Iloilo. It was a killer flash flood. According to my friends who were there when the tragedy happened, animals were literally swimming or just "flowing" with the current. People were on roofs, cold and hungry. There were those who were literally hanging on trees because the current was so strong it was impossible to swim. Coffins were floating, trees and houses were uprooted. We lost almost something something worth of stocks. I had to be extra thrifty because I needed to help out. Our business is recovering slowly, but lots of plans were put on hold becuase of Frank the drunk. Oh well, I'm still thankful that no one got hurt. This was also the quarter when I became officially, a Single for Christ :)

Fourth Quarter: First International Trip with Friends
It was our first time to go out of the country for a vacation. It was also my first time to go to the beach with Carms. It was one hell of a vacation. Lots of "huwat?" moments. It was a hilarious trip!
Thank you 2008 for the learnings, the experiences, the people i met, the realizations, the craziness, the opportunities, the good health - 2008, you rock!

So, what will 2009 gonna be? I'm calling this, the ME YEAR!

2009 will be all about ME! Lots of time for me, lots of stuffs for me, lots of firsts for me. ME ME ME! I'm not being selfish or anything. But I realized, last year, that all my life, it has been about other people. It was about their expectations, it was about what they will think, it was about what will make them happy. I'm not being rebellious, I just want to focus on Me this year. And, I'm starting the year right. I'm getting good roles at work, I have planned vacations, spas, and parlor days. I'm planning to grow my hair long and have it curled. I want to be fabulous this year. I will only think of things that I want. I will be who I always wanted to be - a better happier ME!!!